Happy New Years dear reader. I hope you had a good one and the paper top hats and noise makers were plentiful. Today is our first day in 2019. Everyone is still hungover. The fitness couples have already got their run in. The world is starting over.
This is the time of year when people, albeit briefly, examine their lives. In that examination period, we often come up short.
One of the things I think about a lot is the way people try to sooth themselves when they feel that lack. Life is filled with hardship, and we all need to believe it will be alright. But sometimes, its this belief that is standing directly in the way of you making things alright.
There are a 1000 different memes floating in the internet with the mantra that “you are enough”. I disagree.
I don’t think you are enough, and I think it would be weird if you were.
Are you enough to deserve love and respect no matter who you are? Absolutely. Do you have untold intrinsic value just by being here on the planet? Yes you do.
But at the same time, what does it even mean to be enough?
In my ear, I see it as people who feel inferior reassuring themselves. Reassurance is a human need, I know I need it often.
But one thing i think about is whatever I am doing now is probably ok for now but needs to grow.
The way I handle my money needs to change. My nuance in dealing with the people I love needs to improve. My understanding of my passions like Jiu Jitsu or stand up or writing all desparately need to grow.
I am enough for today, but I am not objectively for all time enough in these pursuits.
I want to be an ever expanding universe. I don’t believe in creationism, and I don’t believe in things having fixed ability. I believe in the evolution of people.
My theory is that in every area you feel you are not enough, there are probably two things happening that need to be addressed. Number one is you have an ego concern that is valid or a need for love. Number two is some part of you recognizes you are lacking.
The first is hard to deal with. The second is easy. What ever you are lacking can be improved on. It can be rehearsed, it can be refined. Part of my virtues are reactions to people who found me wanting. And somehow, their summation that I am not enough put an energy in me that stayed until I not only reached that bar but became more than enough.
I am only interested in things I can control. I don’t mean people, I mean inside of me. I can’t do anything about how I was raised. I can do everything about how I raise myself. I can’t do anything about my genetics, but I can jog.
Its ok to not be enough, its an invitation to be something beautiful.
Happy new year.